Don't · Stop · Believin'....

Yes. I've come to terms with my opinions on Live Journal. They are as follows: It's really addicting, and nice to get everything out in the open and have friendly input on whatever happens to be going on. It's even nice to have tension on Live Journal. Putting people down is really amusing at the time. Sure, you can think I'm sick and twisted but I'm not going to lie about anything. But the reason why journals were created in the first place was for a person to communicate personal, private thoughts. And it just becomes embarrassing and shameful to have those weak moments for the world to see, even though you may have thought it a good idea at the time to share them. A lot of things I've said, I regret. And I'm not trying to put anyone down for participating in it, because it works for some people. It doesn't for me. At least...anymore. So here is the grand final update:

School - is legit. I've been working really hard, to tell you the truth. And on my first couple of tests, I really messed up. It just makes me feel stupid when I work so hard for something and still fail, or fail by my parent's standards. Sometimes I purposely don't study something because I'm the type of person that would rather not work hard for something and then fail than work hard to fail. It leaves me with a little more pride, so I can say to myself that it was only because I didn't study. Not that there's anything wrong with me, or my intelligence level. I don't know if that makes sense. That's just how I am.

Musical - is splenderific. Well, maybe not splenderific. But I'm having a different time than I did last year. Last year I was a freshman. Just getting to know the game, and now I can play it well. Also, last year my part was sort of ingenious. Although I didn't really work so hard for the show because I'd just say Oh whatever I'm the horse's ass, they don't need me to know harmonies or dance steps or anything like that. My facial expressions didn't matter. But it was so much fun! As is this year, but in a different way. I'm nobody's ass but I get to really learn about dancing, and getting into character and I'm working so hard at the vocal stuff. Plus I sing 6 words! Pretty crazy.

Friends - rock my world. Yeah ... some friendships are mad messed at the moment. And I regret that. I wish there was something I could do. But as a whole, I'm 1,000 percent content with the people I surround myself with. I'm glad I don't chill with the druggies and hookers. And don't pretend like that's not half the population at SSHS. You're all kidding yourselves. But I love everyone. And the relationship thing is really great too, but I guess I'm not the type to discuss it on "LJ" because it means more than that. See? I can't hack it. My time is up on this thing, hahaha.

Tonight - I almost died. YAY TRAINS! You crazy kids that were with me: it dawned on my a few minutes ago that I could have died trying to get out. The door could have closed on me or the train could've started moving. Then I pictured myself clutching on to a moving train. And you guys laughing hysterically at me. Or dying from getting a door closed in my face. And you guys laughing at me as my crushed body sped away. Thank you Gabriel Weissman. Also, Pillowman is godly. And I wasn't scared. Muahahaha!

So that was it. My long, extended, well worth it update. You'll never forget it, will you?

Much Love,
Katie

It's nice distinguishing who the people you love are, verus those you can defintely live without. I don't know why, but that's been my philosophy lately. Dealing with people that drive me crazy isn't worth it. And if I don't want to be someone's friend/acquaintence/whatever-it-may-be...then why string them along? Call me a bitch, but that's where I'm at right now. I've probably said this before. But you can't say different things every day...that's too many thoughts...and then you just get migraines!

But life has been very satisfactory lately. I finally saw Love Actually! It made my heart melt just a little bit. Except that they kept calling this girl fat, and she was beautiful and I just felt so bad for her because everyone was like "oh, that fat girl"...but she got Hugh Grant. And no one should ever complain if they get Hugh Grant. All right so that covers Friday. Saturday was absolutely entirely lovely. I went to the citayyy with Danny Carlos and Lindsey, three of my most favoritest people. And it was perfect, minus the fact that I had to get drugs [Motrin, chillllll] in the middle of dinner, that people were smoking pot in the cafe, that the Ferris Wheel CLOSED like 5 seconds before we got there, and that we missed our stop on the train and ended up in sketchy Baldwin. Craziness! Loving it!

The Musical is coming along quite nicely. And VOTDOT might just become VOTDOTEMS! Which sounds like a word, don't you think? Oh anyway, I have 6 words in the musical, so you should be extremely jealous. Mel and I had a BACHELOR party last night, which sounds cool but it was really just the two of us on her couch drinking Splenda and yelling at Mona. Who is a girl on the Bachelor except that's not her name. She needed a new one. It was time. That about wraps up my life. Oh and how great is Lauren Alexander? Pretty great. (Hey Lauren, that means COMMENT! Haha je plaisantais, je plaisantais.)

Gross.

I'm tired of being people's last priority.

Especially people that I personally really care about! And they don't care about me sometimes. And that's really sad.

*Not in reference to those that actually make LISTS and put me second hahaha because god knows I've complained about that enough.*

SO yeah. I love Trotsky. I love mimicking Adam. And tango...ing...with Ché. And going out to dinner with Kerri and MJ with dumbass waitresses and air conditioners in my face. Good one guys. Good one. Hahaha and Dana. Because she's the only one I didn't mention. But no, she's very close to my heart. And soul. And pants. Hahaaaaaaaaaaa. Okay so I love them.

I really enjoyed my sugar-coffee-soda-fries high today. Fries definitely contributed. Dont even play. You players.

And with that.

I'm outttttttttttttttttttttt.

They say that the way you spend New Year's Eve is the way you're going to spend the rest of the year. So I'm really glad that I got to spend it with people I love. But I think it's too much pressure on one night to change your ways and make resolutions and all of the things that are expected of you on New Year's Eve. Not because it's not beneficial to do all of those things, but just because it's expected. So I personally didn't make any resolutions. I'll just get depressed when I give up on them.

And sadly, Winter Break has come to an end. I remember it being 2 weeks one year. That was such a great idea. We should've kept it that way. But I had a lot of fun. Okay I'll update you on everything I've done so far this year. Like I said, or kind of said, New Year's Eve was with most of my friends at MJ's. It's really weird when you think you know people and then find out that you don't at all. So for the very first day of the year, I did crazy amounts of homework and then went to Victoria's at night. We talked for about an hour hahaha about life and stuff, then played Sceneit Television. I kicked ass for the third time. I haven't lost a game yet. Muahahaha! Anyway, then I forced her to listen to Rent. But that's okay because she likes it. And then we remenisced our lives by watching the New Year's OC episode, which is really adorable, I must say. So yes. Good times. Today was pretty lame. Actually scratch that. Incredibly lame. I woke up at 1 (Yeah I know. Smart move.) and did homework until 6ish. Oh I just realized no one cares. Okay that was the most unnecessarily detailed paragraph, so I'll stop now.

Christmas is soooooo pretty. I <3 Christmas. Christmas + Me = True Love.

All right. So. Let's see. Christmas Eve consisted of making cookies, going to Church and then out to dinner with family. Including my grandparents and my grandma's friend. Who, by the way, didn't see the fun in actually LOOKING at the menu so when the waiter came, she was like "I dont know what to get. I sort of like mushrooms." I died. DIED. Then people came over and I was starting to feel really left out because none of my friends were there, but then Victoria came over with her mommy and we laughed at the Sarcasm girl. HAHAHAHA. Why are all my sisters friends our insiders? Bleh? K.

CHRISTMAS. I was awoken at friggin 7. Which I hate. Why is that a rule? You can get just as cheery jolly and merry at 11. Whatevs. I opened my presents in a zombie-like state and went back to sleep for 3 hours anyway. I got Sceneit. So I was like YESSSSSSSSSS. But then I realized that it wasn't the real kind. It was Television Sceneit. Way to slack off "Santa". No but yeah. I'll still play, hahaha. So then I got FRIENDS SEASON 10. FUCK YES! I'm so happy. Actually I just made myself so happy that I need to go watch it some more. I love Chandler Muriel Bing.

So I guess in High School everyone builds up some sort of a work ethic. Or so it seems. And I can't seem to stay focused on something such as school, when there are so many better things to focus on. And more than anything, I wish I had a stronger work ethic and I could really sit down and study hard or always pay attention in class. But that's not really me. Yet it has to be. School is the biggest lie...be yourself, but yourself should be this way or you fail! By high school, most kids pretty much know where their interests lie. Yet everyone is forced to take the same classes, even though most of them are a waste of 40 minutes, 5 days a week, for that year. I don't understand it. We work so excrutiatingly hard for a number. Or many numbers, actually. And that number tells us where we stand. More than anything, I hate the kids that always need to ask "What did you get?" Not to sound all teacher-esque but I really hate that. Sometimes I don't want people to know! And you can't say that you'd rather not say because even the biggest idiot knows that's code for "I didn't do well". So fine, I'll say it right here if I have to: I don't have the biggest attention span when it comes to things that I don't care about. I couldn't care less about what elements bond with one another and how...Politics make me want to fall asleep and dream about anything but Politics...I don't have the biggest vocabulary, and sometimes I do need to ask what words mean when people say them. I don't think that I should have to apologize for any of this, and some people would agree with that. But yet, if I get a 70 or something on a Chem test, I feel like a failure. And my parents are happy to enforce that upon me. I'm sorry that this needed to be this huge long essay ( - which by the way can suck it; I hate essays - ), but that's basically how it is.

"I believe the word you're searching for is 'Anyway...'" ( - Friends. The most godly show to ever exist.) This weekend has been lazy, and I feel pretty useless. I babysat tonight and last night, because I know a lot of people that deserve presents. That I'll end up buying for them...tomorrow. I realized that I couldn't really choose one "best friend", and I can barely even narrow it down anymore. That makes me happy. Because I have a lot of close friends, and they're all so supportive and wonderful. Oh, and musical auditions are on Monday. I don't really have any expectations. I know that I can sing. I know that that most likely won't come across on Monday, because I'm the worst at auditions. But I've learned not to care. Rejection sucks, but you live through it and move on. And on that ever-so-uplifting note, I think my time is up here. You stay classy Rockville Centre.

I rarely ever say this flatout and mean it.
Because it's not something that happens very often...
But here it is anyway...

I'm really happy.

...About everything that's going on. Everything.
Even Chemistry. Because I just studied it for 2 hours and 43 minutes!
That's dedication.

Don't take times like this for granted.

Colleen's right.
This is the biggest bullshit.

I don't even care anymore. I'm going to be blunt. Highschool is starting to become such a lie. And I don't mean guys, I mean girls. Stupid Bitchy Catty girls, including myself, that make life a living hell for other stupid bitchy catty girls. Why do we all pretend to be friends and then make dumb comments when the person we're talking about isn't around? Maybe I'm the only one that sees this. That's because I do it! But I'm not the only one. Pretty much everyone does. And especially recently, I've realized how much gossipping and btiching about the lamest things can get back to that person and really mess them up, or POTENTIALLY get back to that person, because not all things have [yet]. This isn't just one circumstance. It's so goddamn many, and it has to stop. So I'm stopping. Because I'm really tired of it. And I'm really and truly sorry for anyone I've lied to or gossipped about during the way. Just know that I'm done. And that's all I can do. And I know that I sound like the most angry, upset person right now, but this is just getting to me. There really are a lot of amazing things going on right now, and I'm really happy in general. But if I didn't say this at one point...I might've exploded. YAY!

First day of December!!! That'd be today. I love the Christmas Season so very much. When "All I Want for Christmas" is stuck in my head 24/7, then it's naturally time to start celebrating. This week has been going abnormally slow, but this weekend should be good...consisting of Dinnering/Scream watching with Danny, Mel's Nutcracker with Victoria...and hanging out hopefully before or after, "finding somewhere to crash", and then...something on Saturday night. Idk. I forget. >> Failure? << Um so anyway...this week needs to end. Awesome that I have three tests tomorrow and I'm sitting here wasting time! Oh, while I'm on this, I'm sort of sick of being lectured by my friends about school. Let me worry about that. Not you. K, thanks.

Trotsky rehearsals are serious amounts of fun. From Adam's swiveling to Tommy's Mexican-gardener act...it's just crazy. YAY VOTDOT! Plus we're half-way done with blocking in two days, so we just bond nonstop. It's craziness. I love us. For real. Ummmmm it's going to be a good show. Nuff said. There are two secret Santa's going on. I got good people. AH! Imagine If I said I didnt...and then they found out. That would be lame. But no...I got excellent kids. Woooooot. I'm really done now...you can comment if you'd like. Oh I think I'm going to be cool and go find surveys and do them. Because all I have to do tonight is study. And I don't feel like it yet. So here...no one does this anymore but whatevssssssssssssssss.

 

 

( yayyyyy! )

Saw Rent. Friggin amazing. I don't care that a lot of people don't think so. They just don't understand. Although I will admit the singing on bikes and singing while turning the corner took it a bit too far in the cheesy direction. I don't even have a bike. But if I did...I'd sing on it like Mark. And Adam Pascall....has a sticker that says 'Rape Me Please' on his forehead...it was just invisible. I think Chase said that. Agreed. Ohh and then I saw it again with my parents. And it was like...

Me: Did you realize that Angel killed Benny's dog?
My Mom: WHAT? WHY?
Me: Because..."I need some help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear" and then "There was a death in the family if you must know." That whole thing..
My Mom: That's such an insight! Do you have any more?
My Dad: Um...this was hard to catch but...Angel was a man.

That was probably only funny to me. And myself. And I. OHHH PS! I'm Mrs. Trotskyyyyyyyyyyyy. What now. I'm so excited. SOOOO excited. So so So so So so So excited. And so yeah. Thanksgiving avec the family wasn't...any. Haha Rent. Umm yeah but I cant talk about it on Live Journal. Shit went down. And on top of that...I'm just....not....happy. I don't really understand things that should be simple but aren't. Because it's me. Anyway, had lunch with Bella Aileen and Steve. Lip it. Lip it Good. Sleeping at Mel's. Because that's how Joie and Hil roll....naturally.

Last night I did some community service outside of Associated with Chase and Emmy. And I dubbed myself our "Have a good night!" girl. I must've said it to about 50 people...and each time, the nice ones at least, would respond with "You too". So I was basically like...I'm bound to have a good night now! And it didn't look like it was going to be one. But it was! So thank you to people, because I had a voice lesson that went really well and then I got to chillax a bit and have some nice hot chocolate, and it was all just splenderific.

There was a three-day weekend...it was decent. Thursday was shopping at the Mall with Mommy (I'm expecting my new shoes in 2-6 days! They're beautiful!) and Sleepover with Mel. Go look up James Lafferty on Google images. You'll get a treat to your eyes/heart/life. Then Friday was being lazy. Then I babysat at night, and the kids told me that I watch too much TV. I was kicking ass at Sceneit Jr. They were just jealous. Saturday I got Bagels with Danny and then took the Family Christmas Picture. Which was pretty. I had a nice new outfit. Then I hung out with Mel and made lists. Then I hung out with my Babt. Out tickets that Em reserved for us said "Katie Walsh and Liv" and on the inside was PS - I LOVE YOU! Aww, I love Carps. But oh yea...me and Liv fell in love. I dont care if I haven't met him. I really don't. Sunday was Church and Nathan Reading. And that about sums it up. That was ridiculous pointless info to the max.

Earnest is this weekend bitchesss! You best be going to see it. Not that I'm in it, or have any part in the production of it whatsoever. But I dont even care. You'll go see it anyway. Just you wait.

Life is pretty good sometimes. I think I take it for granted. But anyway, interesting week. Thursday was silly. I knew there would be great stories from Thursday and there were. Including these lovely quotes with me, Lindsey, and old people:

70-yr-old Man: I love St Martin...
Lindsey: Oh, me too! It's my favorite vacation spot!
70-yr-old Man: Should I ask if you go topless on the beaches?
Lindsey and Me: NO!!!

70-yr-old Woman: {Stares at our chest area, trying to see our nametags and moves my hair so she can read mine} Oh sorry! Don't think I'm touching your boob!

Me and Lin: Do you want a sticker so that no one will ask you again?
80-yr-old Man: No, that's okay. I love being badgered by pretty ladies like you.

We also got minorly molested, but that's beside the point...I fell asleep in Chem on Friday and got caught. Eeeepppp! I'm embarassed. I'm a failure. Okay, I'm over it. Ummmm Friday was...OH YEAH! Friday was so kickass. I hung out with Sammy. We went to the diner (which ps - made me sick at night again - not going back ever...thats three times. ew.) and got food, then walked around a little bit. After that, we chilled at my house for a bit, and found out just how comforting comics are. If you're not Sam or Lauren you don't know what I mean, and I'm okay with that.

Saturday was nice. I went to Crew call with CAKE! We got kind of lost on the way there...from Long Beach Road. Pathetic much? And I got to stand on a ladder! FOR A LONG TIME! AND UNTIE THINGS! See? I always have one new accomplishment. Then I saw "Prime" with Linny, and it was sooooo cute and funny and a wonderful movie. Bryan Greenberg is gorgeous and I WILL marry him. Meryl is awesome.

My mommy ran the marathon in 4 hours and 8 minutes!!! Yay Mommy!!!!! YAY KENYANS!!!!!!!!!! (WHO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ME AFTER WINNING THE MARATHONNNNNNNNN)

Word of the day? Overwhelmed!!! Just...with school, with friends, with family, with any given situation. I'm not good with this! Not trying to create drama at all, b-t-dubs (I know that annoyed you...and I'm cool with that...b-t-dubs!). I'm just saying that I need help sometimes, and I don't feel like I can ask for it...

This weekend was lovely! On Friday, I went to Gabers' magical film debut from his camp! All of them were wonderful, and I'm so proud of him...I love when I can see things that my friends put together, because all of my friends are SO TALENTED! And Gabe's films were awesome! The only way it could've been better involves a saw and set pieces...but we won't go there. Hahaha.

Ummmm Saturday was busy. I went to Crew call with Alana and we got to paint! Sort of. With primer, but same diff. Then I walked over to Ginos. Then Lauren came. Then Same came. Then our pathetic drawing came. Then Danny came. I love Ian <3333333 (!) So then I went over to Victoria Haller's and we learned things about Thursday (I am so excited yay!)...then baking. Then Colleens. Haha ummmm we cant make cake to save our lives. WOOT! I felt kind of sick-esque at the party, but I had a lovely time. Minus a certain movie but its cool cause I watched it [by myself] that night anywayyysss!

Sunday? Blech. Ummm Church then Family suaree. SARAH WATCHES SALAD FINGERS! Brilliant text messages were sent, pertaining to Mr. SF. I like it when the red water comes out. Then I did impossible chem homework and today was Halloween! (Sorry for the extreme use of the word then...I feel like Mr Dennis with his "okay"'s! oh god. Tallying those up tomorrow scoooore) Good times. Good candy. Good pain in my knee because I pulled a ligament of some sort.

My Lunch Today: A buttered Bagel
A Poland Spring Water Bottle
An Apple
A Chocolate Chip Cookie

Colleen's Lunch Today: A Buttered Bagel
A Poland Spring Water Bottle
An Apple
A Chocolate Chip Cookie

Ummmm....Fate?
Ummmm....Best Friends Forever?
Yup Yup.